


Did You Lock The Door?

by periwren



Category: Real Person Fiction, Sander Sides, Sander sides web series, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Aprons, Because Deceit cares, Bubble Bath, Candy Hearts, Cooking, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Deceit Sanders - Freeform, Embarrassment, Fathers Day, Lies/Denial, Lock the door already!, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, Walking in on people, baths, pillow fort mentioned, pixar argument, safe words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-03-28 21:32:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13912629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periwren/pseuds/periwren
Summary: I don't know why I wrote these scene but it just kept nagging at me. I might add to it in the futureSo Patton and Deceit try and spend some alone time together (none of the others know that they actually have a close relationship) and the others keep interrupting.All could be avoided if they just locked their bedroom doors.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time it happened they were in Deceit's room. And to be fair at least Logan knocked first before walking in - it gave them some precious seconds that they very wisely used to panic. 

He was looking down at his phone as he walked into the dark side's room. 

"Deceit I have to talk to you about what Thomas should tell Joan to keep them from finding out about their surprise party, so -um what are you doing?" Logan asked confused as he finally looked up from his phone.

"What do you mean?" asked Deceit who was sitting crossed legged on his bed. 

"Why are you not dressed?" pointed out Logan. 

"Oh am I not dressed, silly me, I didn't notice at all." said Deceit looking down at his bare chest. 

"Surely you have noticed. Why else are you using your hat to cover your genitals?"

"Um... well the truth is: I have nothing to wear." 

"Preposterous." exclaimed Logan striding over to the others wardrobe as a look of terror crossed Deceit's face. "You have a magnitude of clothes you can wear; there are these button up shirts, these T-shirts, these jackets - Oh hello Patton - this blazer, these trousers - wait. PATTON?!?"

"Um...hi Lo." It was a sheepish greeting given as the other was standing inside the small wardrobe. 

"Patton." asked Logan slowly.

"Yes." said the other giving a cheerful smile. 

"... why are _you_ not dressed?"

"Um-well, you see..... because I just can't find my clothes!" Patton cried making a show of pulling at Deceit's clothes on the hangers "Oh where are they?"

"Oh Patton you silly dummy, that's not your wardrobe!" said Deceit

Patton acted surprised "Goodness you're right, no wonder I can't find any of my clothes in here! Deceit would you mind terribly if I borrowed some of your things to wear? It's not right to put on others clothes without asking first - even if you're naked."

"Of course you can borrow some of my clothes, what fantastic manners asking first! Oh can you pass me a top and a pair of pants too I should probably get dressed for the day."

"Here you go buddy."

"Alright. Well that's that. We're both dressed and ready to face the day."

"Yes as Roman would say: Let's find an adventure!"

And with that they walked straight out the door, "Bye Logan." Patton said shutting the door behind him, "It was lovely to see you." called Deceit over Patton's shoulder. 

Logan stood still for a moment. He had a funny feeling that he had misunderstood something about that whole interaction but could not figure out what exactly. 

He turned and started straightening up the bed, the covers were in a terrible mess.

Then stopped when he realised that this was not his room and ran out the door down the hallway trying to catch up with the others, "Deceit wait! What falsehood should Thomas tell Joan to mislead them about the upcoming party!?" 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman is the one who barges in this time.

The second time it happened. They were in Patton's room.

And this time they weren't...as far along as they had been when Logan walked in on them. 

They were in the middle of a bit of a make out session and they had only got as far as Deceit stripping off his cape and shirt, when they heard Roman's voice booming down the hallway heading towards them. 

"Patton! You simply must read my latest screen play!"

Both of them jumped off the bed like they had been electrocuted. There seemed to be nowhere to hide! This was Patton's room - he kept everything, the place was nostalgic Nevada - there was no room inside Patton's closet for Deceit to hide, he couldn't even get into the closet in the first place because there were boxes and boxes overflowing in front of it.

Roman thumped on the door and barged right in and came face to face with Patton.

"Gah Patton, you startled me. I didn't expect you to be right there." Roman tried to side step around Patton to get into the room and get some of his personal space back. 

Patton still smiling wide made no attempt to let Roman in, in fact he seemed to kept moving as if to block Roman entry. 

"Roman!" Patton cried out with over the top cheer. "I would love to hear about your screen play, you know the best place to talk about them, in the hallway. So um lets head out of this stuffy old room so you-"

"Patton?" 

"Um yes?" 

"Is that Deceit hiding under your bed?" asked Roman finally managing to push his way past Patton and pointing at the half a body sticking out from under the bed. Seriously Patton had so much stuff there wasn't enough room under the bed for Deceit to fit either. 

Patton wrung his hands nervously "er." 

Roman planted his hands on his hips and stared at him. 

"No." came a muffled voice from under the bed. 

Roman reached down and pulled Deceit out and glared at him. 

"What fiendish plot were you trying to pull!" demanded the Prince. 

"Oh no Roman, Deceit wasn't up to anything. I knew he was there." cried Patton. 

"Yes. There is a simple and believable explanation for this." stated Deceit calmly. 

"Oh." said Roman raising an eyebrow and folding his arms. 

"Yes."

".... Well what is it?"

"I was looking for something." 

"What?"

"...I-I've forgotten." stammered Deceit sparing a pleading glance at Patton. 

Roman frowned. "And where are your clothes?" pointing at Deceits bare torso. 

Deceit gasped and smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. 

"That's it! Oh Roman you are so _clever_. I was looking for my clothes. I know they're _somewhere_ in this room, I thought they might have fallen under the bed." said Deceit looking relieved. 

"That's right. Things always get lost in my room." chimed in Patton. 

Roman glanced to the bed. Resting on top of the headboard was Deceit's trademark yellow and black cape and dress shirt. He grabbed them and held them to Deceit.

"Aren't these them?"

Patton broke into applause. "Oh well done Roman. Well done."

Roman looked confused. 

Deceit joined in the clapping too. "You found them. Thank you so much. So clever and helpful."

Roman broke into a bashful smile. 

"And handsome." added Patton.

"And brave and chivalrous and talented." put in Deceit quickly throwing his clothes back on. 

"Don't forget strong and charming and dazzling."

"Oh of course and he's also so smart and generous and thoughtful."

"Not to mention he smells wonderful and has perfect hair-"

"Beautiful teeth and such well toned calves-"

"A voice like an angel."

Roman stood in the middle of the room beaming as the others showered him with praises. They were just so kind. Finally when the others paused in their compliments he asked them if they wanted to hear him read his new screen play. 

After he had finished (both of them loved it) Roman went back to his own room, the incident of a topless Deceit crawling under Patton's bed completely forgotten. 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ha - you thought it would be Virgil this time but you're wrong (only because I have a very specific scene I want Virgil to walk in on so you get Roman again).

As Roman knocked and then immediately barged into Patton's room he saw both Patton and Deceit visibly jump. 

They hadn't heard him coming down the hall at all so they hadn't even tried to hide. 

"Um." Roman had forgotten what he had come to Patton's room for, he was too shocked to see both Patton and Deceit standing there in nothing but their underwear.

"What are you doing?" he cried. 

Patton's mouth gaped like a fish, his eyes wide and panicked. 

Deceit however - relying on years lying through his teeth and Roman's gullibility - opened his mouth and just let the words flow. 

"Patton is going to give me a piggy back ride." 

Yep that's what came out. Okay thought Deceit lets roll with that. 

"What?" Roman looked between them thoroughly confused. 

"Patton is going to give me a piggy back ride so I took off my clothes so I am lighter for him to carry." Deceit smiled. 

Patton smiled nervously at Roman. 

"Why... why has Patton undressed then?" asked Roman suspiciously. 

"Because clothes have weight Roman! We are trying to make everything as light as we can so he doesn't hurt his back. Remember how he said that old cardigan just weighs him down. Well his new cardigan and polo have a bit of weight too." argued Deceit.

Roman still looked confused and not completely convinced. Deceit decided to change tactics. He gasped loudly as if he just had a wonderful idea.

"Roman - why don't you give me a piggy back ride, it will be so much fun! You can carry me all through the house, you can be my private little pony." he said advancing towards him. 

Roman backed up hurriedly, thinking what Logan and Virgil would say if they saw Deceit riding him like a horse. "Um, no sorry I-I can't today, so much to do. Er you two have um fun." and with that he fled back down the hall. 

Deceit stuck his head out the door to make sure he left and then shut the door, breathing a sigh of relief. 

Patton fidgeted nervously, "Deceit?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you-did you really want a piggy back ride?" Patton asked. It did sound like fun. 

Deceit broke into a smile and tickled Patton's tummy. "Only if you don't want to."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I have one for Virgil but I'm having too much fun with Princey.

Deceit licked his lips the sight of his lover tied up like this, it always caused a deep primal hunger to rip through him.

God Damn Patton looked hot.

His arms bound tightly behind his back with a bright blood red rope, criss-cross patters running around his bare chest. Deceit ran his fingers down Patton's sides causing the other to shiver with anticipation.

"Too tight?"

Patton shook is head. The rope was smooth against his skin, he was bound securely enough that he couldn't get out but not tight enough that the ropes hurt him.

Patton loved it when Deceit wanted to play with "Toys".

Patton wasn't sure which was more fun; this red rope or the handcuffs that were currently laying discarded on the bed. Hmm maybe if he was a good boy he could play with both tonight.

"Are we using the ball gag?" asked Patton. He smiled remembering the time Deceit dipped it in honey for him.

Deceit shook his head and grinned evilly "Oh yes because tonight I don't want to hear you scream my name."

Then Deceit's expression turned serious (as it always did before the fun started) he cupped Patton's face in his hands "Darling, what was the safe word again? I'm afraid I've forgotten."

Patton smiled, poor Deceit he had such a terrible memory, he had to ask Patton every time.

"It's red. Like a traffic light. Green for Go, Red for Stop and Yellow for slow down a bit but you don't have to stop completely."

Deceit smiled warmly at him. Before shoving him roughly off the bed and onto the floor, looming over him menacingly. At the exact moment Roman burst through Patton's door unannounced.

"Patton I need - OH MY GOD! DECIET YOU FIEND, YOU VILLIAN, YOU WICKED SNAKE! YOU ARE TRYING TO KIDNAP PATTON AND STEAL HIS CLOTHES TO IMPERSONATE HIM AGAIN AREN'T YOU!?!" shouted Roman. 

"Roman! No it's okay, really-" cried Patton which fell on deaf ears when Deceit replied "Yes I am." 

Roman drew his sword "I WILL SMITE YOU!" slashing at Deceit who miraculously dodged Roman's swing and barrelled out of the room as the royal chased him down the hall and through the mindscape.

Logan appeared to the sound of Princey's yelling and quickly untied a distraught Patton who was trying to worm crawl down the hall after the others, calling for Roman to stop and come back.

"Patton?!? Oh my goodness. Are you hurt? Don't worry Roman will get that wretched scoundrel and give him what for and then I will "school" him too. We will teach him a valuable lesson of what happens when you truss up one of our family. Oh he's just lucky Virgil is out at one of his PG 13 music concerts!" 

"No, NO!" cried Patton "You don't understand we have traffic lights!" and Patton raced down the hall, followed by a very confused Logic. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more Logan this time.

Logan was worried. He couldn’t find Patton anywhere.

He knew he was in the house because he had made them dinner. A few hours later Logan needed to give Patton some photos that Thomas had finally stop procrastinating and got developed (the photos were over five years old) and Patton was in charge of storing them in his room for nostalgia, but Patton wasn’t in his room. He wasn’t in the commons, he wasn’t in Roman’s room, he wasn’t in Virgil’s, he wasn’t in the mind palace or the small cupboard under the stairs.

 So, by process of elimination Patton must be in Deceit’s room.  Logan’s stomach tightened with nervousness. Patton had insisted that everything was fine and Deceit had meant no harm the other night when Logan and Roman found him tied up (Deceit had eluded capture by Roman so they were unable to interrogate him personally). Oh, but Patton was so sweet and trusting – what if Deceit was up to no good again?

Logan knocked on Deceit’s bedroom door. No answer. Cautiously Logan opened the door and peaked inside. There was no Patton and there was no Deceit. Logan was about to leave when he noticed on Deceit’s bed there were two piles of neatly folded clothes. Patton’s clothes and Deceit’s clothes.

How strange, thought Logan, why on Earth have they left their clothes here? Suddenly from a closed door on the other side of the room he heard a noise – it sounded like Patton.

I might not have a sword like Roman, thought Logan, but I am just as capable of saving Patton if he is in Deceit’s clutches. With that he barged through the door.

“DECEIT! Release Patton at once!” Logan demanded before turning speechless at the sight before him.

~~~~

A few moments earlier.

Deceit sighed as he leant back, the warm water gently easing all the tension out of his muscles. With his index finger he lazily drew circles on Patton’s back as he listened to the others narrative.

“ _Chug, chug, chug_ – Quickly captain! Hard to the starboard side or we will hit that monster.”

“No, it’s too late – The Ducky-Wucky has us in its sights, we must abandon ship!”

“Wait! If we steer into the Bubble Mountains we might lose it! _Chug, chug, chug_.”

Just as Patton started to push his toy tugboat towards the mounds of bubbles in the bath away from the rubber duck and just as Deceit reached over and took a sip of Gatorade from his wine glass, Logan burst into the bathroom.

For several moments no one said a word. Deceit had just managed to stop himself from doing a spit take with the Gatorade, hastily he swallowed it.

Patton broke the silence. “Hi Logan. Look how much bubbles we made!” Indeed, there were a lot of bubble in the tub – they were higher than the two sides knees.

Logan tried to collect his thoughts “Wh-what are you two doing?”

“Bathing”

“Saving the environment.”

“Pardon?” questioned Logic, in regards to Deceit’s response.

“We are saving on the amount of water we consume by sharing a bath together. Thus helping the environment.  Really Logan you simply must try it. You would love it. It also has the added bonus of helping with one’s mental health by spending quality time with another person – to prevent isolation and loneliness. Is it not a scientific fact that physical contact is beneficial for people?” asked Deceit.

“Um…yes… there are studies that show physical contact improves one’s overall feelings of wellbeing.” stammered Logan.

“Excellent – well I don’t think there would be enough room for you in my bathtub, but when we get out Patton here can go and find Roman and let him know how eager you are to try out our idea. Or how about Virgil?”

“No, NO! That is fine, Patton doesn’t need to do anything of the sort, I-I actually prefer to have showers anyway.” Replied Logan hastily edging out of the room.

“I could still ask Roman to come and scrub your back for you while you stand in the shower. It’s much easier if someone else does it for you” Offered Patton helpfully, as Deceit broke out into a delighted smile at how oblivious Patton was to Deceit’s teasing of Logic.

“No Patton please don’t. I am perfectly capable of washing myself,” cried Logan. “I must be going now, sorry to interrupt you.”

“Bye Logan,” waved Patton as Deceit went to tip his hat to the Logical side, his hand coming away covered in bubbles as he remembered that his real hat was on his bed and this hat was fashioned by Patton out of the bubble bath.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More and more ideas. God I swear I will get to Virgil one day.  
> Feel free to make some suggestions in the comments, so I can procrastinate some more.

Patton and Deceit hadn’t heard Roman coming down the stairs for breakfast and into the kitchen until he let out a startled sound, a mix between a loud squeak and a strangled gurgle. 

The two broke apart and quickly turned to face the royal whose face was in pure shock his hands covering his mouth. Between his fingers he stuttered “You-you-you-“

Patton and Deceit started to turn red and took a step away from each other – as if adding distance between them would somehow erase Roman’s memory of what he just saw.

It didn’t.

“You-you where _kissing_ him!”

“Um.” The two glanced at each other nervously. The bacon and eggs crackled on the stove top. They hadn’t expected any of the others to come down so early. They should never have risked kissing outside the privacy of their bedrooms. 

_“You were **French** kissing him!”_

A full faced blush had spread across both Patton and Deceit’s face – even Deceit’s scales had turned a pinkish hue.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God!” Roman’s hands were flailing wildly.

“Ro-Roman. We-we can explain! Um…you see, um.” stammered Patton.

“I didn’t want to do it! _I had no choice!_ ” shouted Deceit. “I had to obey the apron!”

“What?! What are you talking about? What apron?!” cried Roman.

Deceit clicked his fingers and suddenly an apron appeared over Patton’s clothes.

“That apron!” Deceit pointed at the garment that magically appeared.

In big bold letters it read: Kiss The Chef.

“Oh, this is nice.” said Patton looking down at himself.

Roman slowly lowered his hands still looking confused, “Huh.”

“Come on Roman take a seat! The foods almost done, nothing quite like a hearty breakfast to start the day. You need energy for your adventures, so come and eat your way to victory!” said Patton gesturing for the royal to take a seat. 

Roman started to protest, “But-he-you- _kiss_ -wha?” but just at that moment Logan walked down the stairs, “Roman what on earth were you just yelling about? It’s too early, we will get complaints from the neighbours-”

Logan stopped in his tracks when he saw Patton’s apron. With a quick glance at Deceit’s flushed face and Roman’s panicked expression he turned on his heel and ran back upstairs to his room.


	7. Chapter 7

Roman walked into the living room to find Patton sitting on the couch eating a snack and watching his favourite cartoon show.

“May I join you?” asked Roman indicating to the couch.

“Of course. The more the merrier, I was watching with Deceit but he had to leave because he had Doctors appointment he couldn’t miss because they didn’t believe his excuse that he couldn’t come because he was being relocated in the witness protection program and his grandmother died and he also had a flat tire– apparently he told them that last month.” said Patton.

Roman frowned as he took a seat, he didn’t like snake spending time with Patton. After a few minutes Patton offered the bowl of snacks to Roman who happily took a handful.

They were heart shaped candies, the kind you would give someone on Valentine’s day, with little messages written on them.

Roman smiled – he loved romantic gestures. Although he knew this wasn’t a romantic gesture on Patton’s part because he was eating the candies himself. But Roman could still appreciate the candies themselves and whoever first thought of such a wonderful idea.

He picked one up to eat, thinking who wouldn’t want a candy heart that said: You Suck.

WHAT?!?!

Roman did a double take as he reread the candy to make sure that was really what it said.

You Suck. Yep, that’s definitely what it says. Roman was shocked, it must be some awful typo! It was a good thing that he got this heart instead of Patton who would be terribly upset to read something like that.

Roman quickly ate the heart to make sure Patton didn’t accidently see the message. He picked up another one and gasped.

It said: Go To Hell.

What was going on? Looking at the rest of the hearts he had picked up they all had horrible messages written on them.

I Hate You.

Drop Dead.

You Smell.

Don’t Call Me.

Worst Friend.

So Ugly.

Don’t Be Mine.

Friend Zoned.

Don’t Hug Me.

Meh.

Leave Me.

Like No, LOL.

4EVA Alone.

Don’t Send Nudes.

U R Gross.

“Patton where did you get these!?!” cried Roman in great distress.

“Oh,” said Patton blushing a little, “Um they were a gift from Deceit.”

“They’re horrible!” shouted Roman.

Patton blinked “Oh did you eat a yellow one? They are a bit _too_ lemony – but try a pink one they really taste like strawberries.”

Patton picked up some bright pink ones from the bowl, read the messages: Not A Chance. Divorce Me. Just Shut Up. Giggling as he put them in his mouth, he turned his attention back to TV leaving Roman lost for words.


	8. Chapter 8

It was date night. 

Patton and Deceit had snuck out of the house (at different times of course, so the others wouldn't think they were going off somewhere together).

Now the two of them had met up at the travelling carnival that had come to town. Patton had already dragged the other sides here of course but he just had to come back with Deceit for one special ride. 

The love boat. 

Patton was so excited, he and Deceit would sit together on the little boat, alone huddled together in the dark. Oh it would be so romantic. 

Patton grabbed Deceit by the hand and dragged him over to the ride. But as they got closer, Patton's heart sank. There were big signs all over the ride saying: Out of Order.

Oh no. Patton was devastated. His shoulders sagged, date night was ruined. 

Deceit tried to comfort the Dad side, telling him there were lots and lots of other rides they could go on together at the carnival. Deceit took Patton's hand again and they started walking through the crowds again. 

Patton pouted as they walked. Sure there were other rides, but nothing like the love boat. 

At least that's what Patton thought until he saw it. It was perfect! Just like the love boat; they would be able to go through this attraction huddled together in the dark with lots of privacy in case they wanted to you know... kiss. 

"Deceit, Deceit- lets go on this one!"

Deceit looked at where Patton was pointing. His face clouded with confusion. 

"Um Patton are you sure?"

"Yes, yes, yes it will be great!"

"Its- um I just think it's a great idea and you will really have a lot of fun in there." 

"I know right?" Patton pulled Deceit towards the attraction. 

"Patton! I really know you will have a great time!" said Deceit his voice filling with concern as he tried to dig his heels into the ground to stop Patton from dragging them both inside. 

"Two please." said Patton to the attendant at the front of the attraction. 

"Here you are, enjoy your time in the Haunted House, it might be the last thing you ever do." 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit different to the other chapters - less of a romantic focus but I just needed to write this scene and thought I could fit it into this story chapters.

Roman heard shouts and Patton's distressed wails coming from the living room. 

However as he was heading down the hall to investigate he found Logic at the hiding end of the hallway peaking his head around the corner trying not to be seen. 

"Logan-" started Roman. 

Logic jumped startled but then quickly drew his finger in front of his lips "Shhh." he said, while from the living room Roman heard Deceit's voice "Patton! Patton don't let me back in!"

"What is going on?" whispered Roman as he came level with Logan trying to peak around him. 

"I have come across the most confusing scene and I have decided to observe silently to see what happens next." said Logan. "It appears that Patton and Deceit have constructed a make shift dwelling in the living room-"

"Logan that's a pillow fort!" 

"Alright- they have constructed a pillow fort together but now it seems they have had a disagreement and Patton has expelled Deceit from their abode." explained Logan. 

In the living room Deceit was knocking - well more like thumping - on a large cushion that was acting as a door that Patton had positioned himself behind and using to block Deceit's entry into the fort. 

"Patton please." begged Deceit.

"I can't believe you said that." wailed Patton. 

"Patton - you understand! You just understand what I mean." said Deceit.

"I feel like I don't even know you!" 

"This is all just a infinitesimal understanding!"

"Out of all of them you pick _\- Cars_?!?" 

Roman was extremely confused, "What on Earth are they talking about?"

"Oh - it seems that their argument has stemmed from the discussion of which Pixar movie is the best."

"And Deceit said Cars?"

"Yes when everybody knows it's Wall-E." said Logan matter of factually.

"No." said Roman his voice taking on a serious tone, "The Incredibles."

"No Wall-E. It's a beautiful story told with barely any talking. That's a cinematic masterpiece."

"No The Incredibles, best hero and best villain-"

"Uh they got nothing against a cute Robot." said Logan his voice getting louder.

"But which one got a sequel!" replied Roman his voice also rising.

"Oh okay we're doing this - Let me tell you -"

**_INSERT ROUND TWO OF PRINCEY VS LOGAN RAP BATTLE HERE WHICH DISSOLVES INTO FULL BLOWN TEMPER TANTRUMS._ **

 

Meanwhile back in the living room:

"Patton please - my favourite, my favourite is-" Deceit babbled desperately trying to get Patton to understand his silver tongue and forgive him but it was becoming hard to think with all the screaming coming from the hallway. 

Suddenly a great idea hit him "Patton - they're all the best!"

   


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No awkward walk ins this time because I want to lead into something (**cough Virgil's chapter cough***) finally after such a long time of not posting it but I need a bit of backstory to it first - I guess that's what you could call this chapter.

Deceit tilted his head to the side in confusion at the sight before him.

The sides were in the middle of what looked like a very serious discussion.

Deceit found this a very unusual scene.

Not the fact that the sides were being serious (I mean Logic was there) but what they appeared to be serious over. Roman, Logan and Virgil had their heads together staring down at a cookbook in the kitchen. They seemed to be arguing over the instructions.

Why isn’t Patton with them? wondered Deceit, Patton knows everything about cooking! It’s his favourite thing in the world.

Deceit strutted over, with what he hoped looked like indifferent arrogance – pfft like he cared what the three of them were doing.

“Well if it isn’t my three favourite Sides in the whole wide world… what are you doing?” asked Deceit scornfully while pretending to look at his nails, when actually he was critically looking at the ingredients on the counter (why would he ever look at his nails, his hands were in gloves!). Deceit wondered from the ingredients present if they were going to make a cake.

Virgil and Logan looked up and glared at him, Virgil even quickly snatched the cookbook up and pulled it towards his chest, so Deceit couldn’t see. However, Roman – who perked up pleased at the “favourite Sides” comment – smiled at Deceit and said, “We are helping Virgil make Patton a special Father’s day treat! Logan has no idea what he is doing.”

“Roman.” hissed Virgil and Logan. Typical Roman to let the cat out of the bag – who knows how Deceit might spoil Virgil’s cooking, maybe he would switch the sugar with salt or something equally devious.

“I am much more qualified to help Virgil understand the instructions than you!” Logan snapped at Roman.

“I am telling you – Patton always adds double, sometimes triple the amount of sugar listed for all of his recipes!”

“That is extremely illogical and unhealthy.”

“Like Patton cares about that as long as it tastes sweet.”

Deceit swallowed nervously – A Father’s Day Treat!

These three were going to make Patton a Father’s Day dessert of some kind, he knew that Patton thought of the others as his “sons” but Deceit didn’t think that the three of them would do something to celebrate Father’s Day with him – Deceit didn’t have anything for Patton and Father’s Day was tomorrow!

“Perhaps I can assist you. I am a brilliant chef you know. It’s on my resume – you can look it up. I have been head hunted by the top pâtissier chefs in all of France. I’m sure I can teach you three a thing or twelve about cooking to keep this from becoming a complete disaster for our dear Patton.”

The other’s frowned.

“Beat it, Deceit. We’re busy and don’t have time for your silly games.”

“But-”

“GET LOST. We won’t let you ruin Father’s Day for Patton, you slimy snake! “Our _dear_ Patton” - _puleeze_ like you give a damn about anyone but yourself.” snapped Virgil.

Deceit retreated to his room. He was too prideful to admit – even to himself (because even he could lie to himself sometimes) that he was upset that the others wouldn’t let him join in to make something nice for Patton. Because he did care about Patton.

Sometimes he wishes that he could be open about his relationship with Patton. But the others would never allow the two of them to date. They would keep Patton away from him and force him to be alone.

Deceit pushed these unhappy thoughts from his mind and to focus on the bigger problem.

What was he going to do for Father’s Day?


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one time no one walks in ;)

Deceit snuggled in closer to Patton breathing in the others sent. He always smelt so good, a mix of cookies, roasted herbs, clean laundry, vanilla soap – somehow it all combined to make you feel calm and reassured. It made you feel like you were home. Like you were always home with Patton.

“hmm, hmm. Patton this is the worst.” muttered Deceit sleepily.

“Huh, oh do you need more blanket?” replied Patton.

Deceit didn’t respond to the question instead say, “Happy early Fathers Day, I hope you feel too tired. I feel like I can run a marathon right now.” And with that Deceit dropped off to sleep.

Patton smiled and brushed the remaining rose petals off the bed. He _was_ tired but at the same time so relaxed and contented – Deceit had been so gentle and attentive tonight – the whole evening had been wonderful. And he had never had anyone call him “Daddy” quite like that before.

If this is the sort of attention he got from Deceit, Patton wished every day could be Father’s Day, as he wrapped his arm around Deceit’s scaly shoulder.  


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally got to Virgil.

Okay how do I do this? wondered Virgil as he stood in front of Patton’s bedroom door.

In his arms was a breakfast tray with a plate stacked high with hot handmade pancakes covered in honey and dusted with icing sugar. They smelled delicious and they were making Virgil’s mouth water.  

But the stack of pancakes was shaking slightly from the nervous tremors in Virgil’s arms. It had seemed like such a good idea to cook Patton breakfast in bed for Father’s Day but now came the big moment that Virgil had _go in and give it_ to Patton.

And Virgil was terrified;

_What if Patton doesn’t like it?_

_What if it doesn’t taste any good?_

_How do I get into his room to give it to him? The door’s shut – what if he’s still asleep?_

_If I just barge in, is that an invasion of privacy – will he get mad?_

_What if I knock and wake him up and he just wanted to have a sleep in?_

_What if I drop the tray and make a mess everywhere?_

_WHY DIDN’T LOGAN OR ROMAN COME WITH ME? THEY HELPED ME COOK THIS, THEY SHOULD TAKE THE CREDIT TOO. I’M BEING RUDE AND SELFISH IF I GET ALL THE PRAISE._

_What if Patton hates breakfast in bed and this is a big set up by Roman and Logan to get Patton to hate me?_

What if-

“Virgil what are you doing? Take it inside and give it to him! Before the temperature becomes suboptimal.” hissed Logan who was peeking his head around the corner with Roman who sneakily had his phone out to record the event. There was no malicious intent from either Logan or Roman they genuinely wanted to help Virgil with his first special Father’s Day treat he was going to give Patton.  

Virgil took a shaky breath and put the tray on the groud, cautiously he tried the door, thankfully it was unlocked. He bent down and picked up the tray and used his back to push open the door. He smiled nervously at the others before going inside Patton’s room. As he vanished inside Logan and Roman smiled at each other, an early congratulations on a job well done when suddenly there was a loud crash followed by a high pitched scream “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 


	13. Chapter 13

Logan froze at the sound of Virgil’s terrified scream. Roman however, who had more experience in saving damsels in distress and feats of bravery boarder lining on stupidity, charged passed Logan into Patton’s room.  Afterall he was the hero.

Well - nobody can scream quite like Princey. Even from outside the room Logan winced from the high pitch and covered his ears. Suddenly it stopped and there was a loud thump!

Logan tried to pull himself together as he rushed into Patton’s room. His brain could not comprehend what he was seeing.

Virgil had backed himself into a corner pulling his hoodie over his eyes to stop himself from seeing, the special breakfast tray he had made was now a huge mess on the floor, Roman seemed to have fainted – but the most shocking thing was Patton and _Deceit_ were in the bed _together_ pulling the blankets up to cover themselves.

“It’s not what it looks like!”

“It’s exactly what it looks like!”

Logan was lost for words, he grabbed the bedroom door to try and steady himself, trying to process this.

Patton sat up a bit more in the bed, “Roman? Roman are you okay?”

Logan looked down at Roman’s unconscious form, “I-I don’t think he can hear you, Patton.”

“Oh no Roman! We have to do something!” cried Patton jumping out of bed to help his passed out over dramatic son.

“GET DRESSED FIRST!” screamed Virgil.


End file.
